£No ^lays Qxcharwed 



BAKER'S EDITION 



Listen Ladies! 

Price, 25 Cents 




WALTER H. BAKER COMPANY 

BOSTON 



r 

i 



i 



WIGS 

AND OTHER HAIR GOODS 



WHISKERS AND MUSTACHES 

State Color Wanted on Hair Goods. 

% Full Beard on Wire $1.50 Side Whiskers on Gauze. .$1.00 

A Full Beard on Gauze 2.25 Side Whiskers cm Wire. . . .75 

j Chin Beard on Gauze, 6 in. Throat Whiskers on Gauze 1. 10 

% long 1.35 Throat Whiskers on Wire. .75 

A Chin Beard on Gauze, 4 in. Santa Claus Beard on 

1 long l.oo Wire 2.50 

1 Chin Beard on Wire 75 Mustache on Gauze 30 

i Tramp Beard on Cambric Goatee on Gauze 30 

^ (black and brown only) . 1.25 



U 



MEN'S WIGS 
State Color Wanted on Hair Goods. 

Dress, with parting, all Modern Japanese 5*00 

colors $6.00 Chinese with Queue, 

** Uncle Josh " 6.00 chamois ttop 5.00 

Dutch 6.50 Clown, plain 1.25 

Irish, chamois top 6.00 With 3 knobs 2.00 

Jew Character 5.00 Negro, black, for Min- 

Crop, Red and Blond 4.50 strels, etc I.25 

Other colors 4.25 Negro, Old Man, White 

Court or Colonial $5.50 or Gray 2.25 

Indian 6.00 Negro, Bald, White or 

Gray 3.25 

LADIES' WIGS 

State Color Wanted on Hair Goods. 

Soubrette, all colors $6.50 Court or Colonial $8.50 

Old Maid, all cok)rs 9.00 Indian Girl 6.00 

Irish Biddy 9.00 Negro Mammy 3.00 

Sis Hopkins 6.50 Topsy 2.25 

Crepe Hair, Different colors, for making mustaches, etc. 

Per yard, .45 ; half yard 25 

In ordering Wigs give Size of Hat. State Color Wanted on 
Hair Goods. Wigs not rented but made to order. Usually goods 
can be sent by return mail, but it is best to allow a margin of 
two or three days. 

C. O. D. orders must be accompanied by twenty-five per cent 
of price. Do not send order^ by telegraph on a few hours' 
notice. 

All hair and make-up goods sent by mail or express prepaid, 
unless otherwise stated. Prices on hair goods subject to change 
without notice. 

Always sf9td your orders to 

"WALTER YL BAKER CX)*, Boston, Mass* 



Listen Ladies! 

A Comedy in Two Acts 



By 
EMMA J. TRUE 




BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER COMPANY 
1922 



Listen Ladies! \^^^ 



CHARACTERS 

Mrs. Holden, preside fit of the church sewing circle, 

Mrs. Brown, who wishes to be president. 

Mrs. Bacon, on the apron committee. 

Mrs. Whitney, also on the apron committee, 

Mrs. Harvey, who would rather read than sew. 

Mrs. Crane, who keeps a coio and hens, 

Mrs. Green, a very observing neighbor. 

Mrs. McLean | ^ • ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ apprehensive, 

Julia King j ^ ^-r 

Katie, a servant. 

Scene: Act I. Mrs. Holden's library. 

Act II. A living-room in a camp in the woods. 




Copyright, 1922, by Emma J. True 
As author aftd proprietor. 

All rights reserved. 



©CI.D r)JH05 



Listen Ladies! 



ACT I 

SCENE. — The library in Mrs. Holden's home; a well 
furnished room. Desk zvith telephone at c. Work 
basket, piled high with apron material. Folding table 
in rear. Couch l. front. Exits r. and l. Window c. 

{As the curtain rises, Mrs. Holden is sitting at her 
desk writing letters.) 

Mrs. Holden. There, I'll not have time to write any 
more letters to-day (Seals letters.), for it is almost time 
for the ladies to arrive. One, two, three, four, five. 
Not bad for one day's work. I just hate to write letters, 
but this scheme of mine, to raise ten thousand dollars 
for a new library building, looked too good to let pass 
without trying. I wonder what the ladies will think of 
my plan for the women to pledge themselves to furnish 
five thousand dollars, and the men the balance. We need 
the building, which will be a great ornament to the town, 
and, if we are to have it, I see no reason why the men 
shouldn't work for it as well as the women. (Rises.) 
I am asking five of the most prominent business men in 
town to pledge themselves to raise one thousand dollars 
each (Reads names on letters, which should be those of 
prominent men.), and I suppose there should have been 
one to (Insert a poor man's name.) ; however, I think 
I will send these by special messenger so to get a reply as 
soon as possible. (Goes to door r. Calls.) Katie. 

(Enter Katie with scrubbing brush in hand and old 
cloth on head, looks bothered.) 

3 



4 LISTEN LADIES ! 

Katie. Did yez call, mum? 

Mrs. Holder (enthusiastically). Oh, Katie! Fve got 
the grandest scheme up my sleeve. It is too good to tell 
you about just now, but all the ladies are coming here 
this afternoon to talk it over and I want you to serve 
them some nice refreshments, with tea, about five o'clock. 
(Katie looks rebellions and Mrs. Holden takes money 
from purse, goes over to her.) Here is something to 
cheer you up a little, Katie, and I want you to smile your 
sweetest to everybody, for I wouldn't want any of them 
to go away and say I had a disagreeable servant. 

Katie {takes money, sighs, then forces a smile) . Well, 
mum, I'll do my best. 

Mrs. Holden {at door, l.). I am going across the 
way, Katie, to get Mrs. Jones' little boy to deUver some 
letters for me. If any of the ladies come while I am out, 
you can ask them to be seated and to make themselves 
comfortable until I return. I won't be long. [Exit. 

Katie. Now what's she up to this time? Every day 
in the week womens are comin' here for something and 
I have to I'ave me scrubbing, put on a white apron and 
cap, and serve refreshments to the whole gabbling lot of 
them. I'm getting about tired of my job and I'm going 
to tell her so if this goes on much longer. But every 
time I gets me mind made up to tell her I am I'aving, 
along she comes with one of these things {Takes money 
out of pocket.), shoves it into me hand and is off before 
I can get a chance to tell her what I have made up my 
mind to do. Billy the pohceman says all women are 
blamed idiots, whatever that is, I don't know, but here it 
is two o'clock and nothing done. {Bell rings.) There's 
one of the lunatics now. 

{Enter Mrs. Brown.) 

Mrs. Brown. The door was unlocked so I walked 
right in. 

Katie {rushes forward, bows, smiles, and places chair 
for her). Mrs. Holden will be right in, mum. [Exit. 

Mrs. Brown {taking off hat and gloves, looks around). 
Well, I am the first one here, as usual. I always have to 



LISTEN LADIES 



attend to everything myself {Sees work basket.), nobody 
else seems to feel any responsibility whatever. Two 
o'clock and not one of those women here yet. If I was 
president of this society I should make it a point to be 
here on time, and I should feel it my duty to look out for 
things a little; but such things don't seem to enter Mrs. 
Holden's mind. Look at this basket piled high with 
work, and it's her place to attend to getting them started. 
Well, if the ladies all want her for their president, very 
well and good, but I must say I think I'd make a good 
deal better one myself. Talk about an early meeting for 
work! Humph! They'll get here in time for refresh- 
ments and take about three stitches, then make some ex- 
cuse for going home, saying they have to see to the chil- 
dren (Sarcastically.), or their husband has an early sup- 
per, or some other hatched-up yarn. For my part, I like 
the truth and nothing but the truth. (Sits.) Well, I 
will get right down to work and be a shining example to 
the rest of them when they come. (Sews.) 

(Enter Mrs. Harvey with work-bag.) 

Mrs. Harvey. Good-afternoon, Mrs. Brown. You're 
here first, as usual. What an energetic woman you are ! 

Mrs. Brown. It's lucky there is one energetic woman 
in the circle. There is a great deal of sewing to be 
finished to-day, and I suppose I shall have to do my part 
and half of all the others. (Sews rapidly.) 

Mrs. Harvey. I just hate sewing. (Looks in bag.) 
There, I've left my thimble at home, and my glasses. I 
thought they were all in my bag along with this book, 
which I brought to read to the ladies from, while they 
are sewing. I told my husband this morning that I 
didn't feel like coming here to-day, only Mrs. Green tele- 
phoned she thought there would be refreshments and I 
knew I should enjoy that part of the afternoon. 

(Reads book.) 

Mrs. Brown (aside). Well, I never heard of any- 
thing to beat that. (Aloud.) I think we can dispense 
with your reading to-day, Mrs. Harvey, and if you are 



6 LISTEN LADIES ! 

feeling well enough to come here for refreshments you 
are well enough to work on this apron. I can furnish 
you with a thimble. 

(Passes her apron and finds thimble in bag. Mrs. 
Harvey takes apron, sews awkwardly, then resumes 
her reading. Enter Mrs. Bacon.) 

Mrs. Bacon. Good-afternoon, ladies. Beautiful day, 
isn't it ? 

Mrs. Brown. ) r- ^ r^ n/r -r» 

Mrs. Harvey. / Good-afternoon, Mrs. Bacon. 

Mrs. Bacon {taking off hat). Hasn't Mrs. Whitney 
come yet? She is on the apron committee with me and 
there are ten more aprons to be cut to-day. {Sets up 
table and begins to cut aprons.) I intended to be here 
early for once but I thought I should never get my wash- 
ing out this morning. To begin with, Henry went oif 
and forgot to bring up the tubs. Then when I was filHng 
the boiler a telephone message came from the Shaw 
Water Company that some kind of a wild animal had 
fallen into Squaw Mountain Pond and they were going 
to shut off the water. Then I went across the way to 
Youngs' to bring some water in pails when Dr. Graves' 
automobile came along, flying as if some one was dying, 
and frightened me so I began to run, and stubbed my toe 
on a rock and fell down flat in the road, and the water 
went all over me, and filled my shoes so I had to change 
everything I had on my back. When I got back in the 
kitchen I found they had got the animal out of the pond 
and turned the water on again, and I had left the faucets 
open and the water had run over the sink and flooded 
the kitchen floor, and was running through into the cellar 
and into some pans of milk. I was nearly ready to drop 
but the thoughts of our meeting here to-day and the good 
refreshments we would have braced me up, and I finally 
got my clothes on the line and here I am for work. 

Mrs. Brown {aside). Some yarn ! {Aloud.) Well, 
I'm glad my kitchen has no new-fangled notions in it, 
like faucets and things. A cistern answers my purpose 
very well. 



LISTEN LADIES I 



7 



Mrs. Bacon. What book are you reading, Mrs. 
Harvey ? 

Mrs. Harvey. It's the latest thing out, and extremely 
interesting, called " The Truth About How Eve Tempted 
Adam." 

Mrs. Brow^n. Humph ! Eve tempted Adam ! More 
likely it was the other way around. I never did have any 
good opinion of Adam. 

Mrs. Bacon. Well, my husband has always claimed 
that Adam was in a very hard place, being the only man, 
and Eve the only woman ; it was 

Mrs. Brown. Hard place fiddlesticks ! Now I should 
say that Adam had it all his own way, and if he wanted 
a companion bad enough to sacrifice one of his own ribs 
to make her of, he hadn't ought to blame her for the 
consequences. 

{Enter Mrs. Green.) 

Mrs. Green. Am I late ? I intended to be here early 
but our president's friend, Mrs. Kingston, was moving 
into the house opposite us, and I just had to wait till they 
got unloaded. My, but they've got some elegant fur- 
niture. I think I saw every piece. Couches, chiffoniers, 
a big piannie, and one of those phono-organs. I do hope 
they won't be the kind that keeps their curtains down all 
the time so as you can't see what they're doing. I like 
folks that keep their curtains clean to the top all day. 

Mrs. Bacon. Who are these people and where did 
they come from? 

Mrs. Green. I tried to read the lettering on the boxes 
but my eyes ain't quite so good as they used to be, but 
it looked like J. D. Kingston, New York City. 

Mrs. Harvey {looking up from hook). I heard some 
very high and aristocratic people from New York were 
going to move in there. 

Mrs. Brown. Yes, I know all about it. There are 
just three of them. Mr. Kin.crston, Mrs. Kingston and her 
brother, Captain Henry Landon, who served in the war, 
and is unmarried. Mrs. Kinc^ston was a college chum of 
our president's, and most likely they will come to our 
church. 



8 LISTEN LADIES ! 

Mrs. Bacon. Ladies, we must call on her at once 
and invite them to come to our church before the other 
society gets ahead of us, for they chase every load of 
furniture that comes to town. 

Mrs. Brown. We won't do anything so disgraceful. 
I don't want any one calling on me until I get settled. 

(Enter Mrs. Crane.) 

Mrs. Crane. Here I am at last. Thought I should 
never get started. Had awful luck with everything. 
John went away and forgot to bring up the coal, and 
my feet are so lame I can't go down-stairs; so I had to 
do my cooking on the oil stove, and that smoked so my 
face got all black; and just as I got all cleaned up and 
ready to start my hens got out and went straight into 
Elizabeth Bean's flower-garden, and I had to chase them 
for an hour. I thought, one while, that I was going to 
lose my refreshments with you this afternoon. My hus- 
band forgot to lock the gate. 

Mrs. Green. My husband forgets sometimes but I 
always make it a point to praise him when he does any- 
thing for me. These men do Hke to be praised. They're 
just Hke children anyway. 

Mrs. Brown. That's something I never allow my 
husband to do. Forgetting is a habit. I began right 
when we were first married, and I never have any trouble. 

(Enter Mrs. McLean, and Julia.) 

Mrs. McLean. Good-afternoon, ladies. We are quite 
late, but sister Julia had a spell of nerves on the way. 
Two dogs were fighting and they frightened poor JuUa 
so we had to go into the drug-store and get some smell- 
ing salts; and who do you think was in there? Our 
president, and she had Mr. Harris over in the corner 
talking about raising money for a new library building. 
I heard her say that the ladies would pledge five thou- 
sand dollars. (Seats Julia on sofa.) 

Mrs. Brown. Five thousand dollars ! That's a crazy 



LISTEN LADIES ! 9 

idea. Didn't I tell you she would get us all into some 
kind of trouble with her high-falutin notions? Five 
thousand dollars out of aprons ! 

Mrs. Harvey. We earned two hundred dollars last 
year. It would take just twenty-five years to earn five 
thousand. Some of us would be grey headed or dead be- 
fore that time. 

Mrs. McLean. Don't talk about anything so sad as 
grey hair and death, Mrs. Harvey. Perhaps our presi- 
dent has some big scheme up her sleeve about this money. 
You will all admit that we need a new library building 
and that it would be a credit to the women to make the 
first move in the matter, and show the opposite sex that 
we didn't get the vote for nothing. 

Mrs. Brown. I fail to see what getting the vote has 
to do with raising five thousand dollars. Perhaps our 
president will ask her aristocratic friends, who have just 
moved to town, to help. Perhaps the unmarried captain 
brother would enjoy meeting some of our fair members. 

{Looks to Julia.) 

Julia {rises from couch). Unmarried brother, and 
a captain ! I wonder if he is old or young. 

Mrs. McLean. Now, Julia, don't get excited, and 
upset your nerves again. He may be very poor and ugly. 

Julia {walking about excitedly). A captain! I al- 
ways did Hke gold stripes and brass buttons. I must go 
out for a walk; perhaps I will meet Captain Landon on 
the street. If I should be so fortunate I will surely tell 
him how proud the ladies of Greenville are to have a sol- 
dier in our midst. 

Mrs. McLean. My dear Julia, you wouldn't be so 
indiscreet. {Gqcs and leads her to sofa.) Sit down and 
calm your nerves. 

Mrs. Bacon. Oh, come off with all that stuff about 
nerves, Mrs. McLean. Julia needs a good " jolt." 

Mrs. McLean. A jolt ! What do you mean, my dear 
Mrs. Bacon? 

Mrs. Bacon. Let her go in, head over heels, if she 
wants to, after the Captain. She'll learn her lesson same 



10 LISTEN LADIES ! 

as the rest of us have. She thinks love is the next thing 
to going to heaven in a bandbox, and when she finds out 
her mistake she'll get a good jolt. (All laugh.) 

Mrs. McLean. How you do talk, Mrs. Bacon. Your 
language is quite unfit for dear Julia to hear. 

Mrs. Bacon (passes apron to Julia, laughing). Here's 
an apron for you to make, Julia. Go to it and forget 
the Captain. 

Julia. I am sure I can never forget him. (Sews.) 
Captain Landon, that is a good sounding name. I would 
like to see him. 

(Enter Mrs. Holden.) 

Mrs. Holden. Good-afternoon, ladies. I am so glad 
you came early, for I have a wonderful proposition to 
make to you, and we need time to talk it over. 

Mrs. Green. Madam President, before you begin to 
talk business, won't you tell us about the Kingstons who 
are moving into the Shaw house? Who are they, and 
where did they come from, and why did they move to 
Greenville ? 

Mrs. Holden. Certainly. Mrs. Kingston was my 
dearest chum and room-mate at college, and then she 
married David Kingston, a very wealthy New York busi- 
ness man, and they have always Hved in the city, but her 
brother, Captain Henry Landon, who was wounded in 
the war, wanted to come into the country where he could 
hunt and fish and get back his health before going into 
business with Mr. Kingston, so they have decided to come 
to Greenville for a while. Of course it is a great pleasure 
to me having Mrs. Kingston so near me, and if we make 
it real pleasant for her, ladies, perhaps they will purchase 
the Shaw house and remain here permanently. 

Mrs. Brown. Well, I can't see how anybody in their 
right mind could choose to leave a great big city and come 
into this little forgotten-spot-on-the-map and settle down 
for keeps. You just bet your life they will pack up and 
go back to the city after they have had one year of it. 

Julia. But the Captain wouldn't get his hunting and 
fishing, dear Mrs. Brown. 



LISTEN LADIES ! II 

Mrs. McLean. Don't get excited, Julia; remember 

your nerves. , ^ , . , , 1 1 t^i 

Mrs Brown. Hunting and fishmg be hanged ! ihe 
Captain's ill health is probably an excuse to he back on 
his rich brother-in-law and get supported. 

Mrs Harvey. My dear Mrs. Brown, remember the 
Commandments and don't judge others. I am sure we 
ought to feel very proud to have some rich city folks 
come to live in our town. . . 

Mrs Bacon. Perhaps Mrs. Kingston will join our 
society If she does I will ask her to come on the apron 
committee with me, for Mrs. Whitney never gets around 
on time, and I can never get enough cut for the ladies 
to work on and the time draws near for our spring sale 

Mrs Holden (rises and taps on desk). Ladies i 
have a very important matter to bring before you this 
afternoon. You all know there has been a great deal ot 
talk about a new library building in to\yn and that we 
need a more suitable place where our children can hnd 
^ood reading and happy surroundings. Some of our 
ffood citizens have tried in many ways to arouse public 
opinion and get a sum pledged large enough to warrant 
a beginning, but so far they have met with defeat; and 
the general opinion is that it will be impossible to raise 
ten thousand dollars in a little town Hke Greenville. 

Mrs Brown. There arc plenty of people m town who 
can afford to give it if they cared to but they are mostly 

^ JultI^^^ Perhaps Mr. Kingston and Captain Landon 
would be interested to help. 

Mrs. McLean. JuUa! JuUa! Don't interrupt the 

^'mrs"holden. Now I have a scheme to present to 
you to-day, and if you are all willing to help me carry 
it out, our little society can set a shmmg example for 
the men and prove to them that the vote is safe m oui 

^""mrs Green. You can never convince my husband^ 
He is set as the hills and says the country will soon go to 

^^mITcrane. My husband always forgets to vote, and 



12 LISTEN LADIES ! 

says if women want the vote let them have it so long as 
it doesn't cost anything. 

Mrs. Brown. That's a fine opinion to hold. If we 
all thought that way the country would go to the dogs 
indeed. 

Mrs. Harvey. Let us hear the president's scheme to 
the end and not interrupt again. 

Mrs. Holden. It all occurred to me while I was read- 
ing this Httle article in the Piscataquis Observer. (Pro- 
duces nezvspaper clipping and reads.) Died in California, 
April ID, 1 91 8, Frantz Leibtag, a German, who for years 
lived a hermit's life in a log camp near Greenville, Maine. 
A note was found in his pocket saying he was a bachelor 
and had no relatives and that when the war broke out he 
drew all of his money out of the banks and buried five 
thousand dollars of it in a cave on the mountain near his 
camp, and took the rest and journeyed to California, hop- 
ing to aid his country in some way, but a fatal illness had 
taken hold of him and he would soon be laid to rest, but 
it was his wish that the money in the cave should go to 
the little town that had given him shelter for so many 
years, and that it should be used to establish a Library 
Fund. 

Mrs. Crane. Sakes alive ! Did you find all that in the 
Piscataquis Observer f 

Mrs. Holden. Yes, it was copied from a California 
paper. I have talked the matter over with some of the 
Select Men and they do not credit the story. Some think 
he was crazy and left the note in his pocket to attract 
attention, but I believe it and am determined to pay a 
visit to his camp. Think what it would mean to us to 
get five thousand dollars. It would make the few hun- 
dred we earn with aprons pale into insignificance. 

(Ladies all sigh.) 

Mrs. Bacon. It's a lot of money. 

Mrs. Green. Maybe if we could get all that money it 
might convince my husband that women were good for 
something besides washing dishes and scrubbing floors. 

Mrs. Holden. That is the point exactly. It would 



LISTEN LADIES ! 1 3 

give US prestige with the men. Now this is my plan. 
,We will ask the men in town to pledge five thousand 
dollars if the women get the other five. Then we will 
all take a vacation and go to this camp and search for the 
hidden treasure. 

Mrs. Harvey. It sounds easy. 

Mrs. Bacon. Let's do it! I will help you all I can, 
Mrs. Holden. Think what a credit it would be to our 
society to start an enterprise that would be of such last- 
ing public benefit. I am just crazy to try it. 

Mrs. Brown. But if we shoulcl fail, Mrs. Holden, we 
would be held up as objects of scorn by the men. 

Mrs. Holden. Never say fail. If the money is there 
I am sure we can find it. 

Mrs. McLean. I should Hke to try something big like 
that. I am tired of making aprons. 

(Throws dozvn apron.) 

Julia. How many weeks will it take, Mrs. Holden ? 

Mrs. Holden. It may take a day and it may take a 
year, but we must go prepared to stay until we win. 

Mrs. Crane. If I go I shall have to take my cow and 
hens, for my husband would forget to feed them. 

Mrs. Brown. It would be a grand idea, Mrs. Crane, 
and I will help you along. I will carry the hens and you 
can drive the cow. (All laugh.) 

Mrs. Holden. Yesterday I sent out three letters to 
some of the prominent business men in town, and to-day 
I have sent out five more, and am expecting an answer 
any minute. 

Julia. Perhaps your friend Mrs. Kingston and the 
Captain would like to go. 

Mrs. Holden. That is a good idea, Julia, and I will 
ask them. 

(Enter Mrs. Whitney.) 

Mrs. Whitney. Am I too late for the refreshments? 
I left home a long time ago, but met Lizzie Jones and she 
talked me nearly blind about their new car, and a wonder- 
ful trip to Boston; and then she asked me to go into 



14 LISTEN LADIES ! 

Lander's store to help her select a new dress, and while 
she was trying on the dress I was looking around, leisure 
like, when I heard a lot of talking and laughing over in 
one corner, and there was Harry Lands and Gene Varney, 
and Frank Andrews, and two or three more talking about 
our president, and some kind of a trap she was getting 
us into. They said it would be a good idea to let us try 
out such a foolish stunt and get stung. I would like to 
know what it is all about. 

Mrs. Bacon. If you had been here earlier we should 
have had these aprons cut, and you would know the whole 
story. Now our president will have to begin at the 
beginning again and tell it all over. 

Mrs. Brown. For my part I am glad Mrs. Whitney 
happened to be late, and that she overheard this disagree- 
able conversation about our plans. Stung indeed. 
Madam President, I am with you to the bitter end. 

{Enter Katie, with a letter which she gives to Mrs. 
HoLDEN. She is dressed in white apron and cap. ) 

Katie. Here is a letter for yez what the Jones boy 
left and he said ye'd be riled when yez read it. When 
shall I be after bringing in the tea, mum ? 

Mrs. Holden {tafzes letter). In about twenty minutes, 
Katie. {Reads aloud.) "To Mrs. W. B. Holden, 
President of UniversaUst Ladies' Aid Society. (Katie 
listens, laughs, and exits.) Dear Madam: We, the un- 
dersigned, being five sane business men of Greenville, 
have duly considered your noble proposition to establish 
a Library Fund and, while we do not credit the Leibtag 
story published in the Piscataquis Observer, of a buried 
treasure reposing in a cave on the mountain side ; never- 
theless, we are willing to meet you half-way and pledge 
ourselves to raise an amount equal to yours. If the ladies 
of your society, whom we know to be comfort-loving and 
timid {Ladies all exclaim and repeat "comfort-loving and 
timid " and grozu very indignant as the letter continues.), 
are willing to tramp over a mountainous foot-path, eat 
and sleep in a lonely camp, inhabited only by the ghost of 
a departed German bachelor, we give you Godspeed in 



LISTEN LADIES ! I5 

your undertaking ; and should you be so fortunate as to 
find the hidden treasure we pledge ourselves to furnish 
dollar for dollar, and to elect some of your worthy mem- 
bers to the Board of Directors. (Ladies all exclaim.) 
Furthermore, in order to protect you from masculine 
ridicule in case you should fail in your undertaking and 
also to test your detective ability (Ladies repeat indig- 
nantly "detective ability.") we have decided to place our 
five thousand dollars in a hidden spot near the camp. We 
have made some inquiry about the habits of this German 
bachelor, and everything points to the fact that he was a 
fugitive from justice, hiding himself in this lonely camp 
and living in poverty. After receiving your letter we 
even went so far as to send a man, on horseback, into the 
camp to search for the plan to the cave. He has just 
returned, and says there is nothing to be found in the 
camp but tin cans and skeletons. (Ladies groan.) But 
we will keep to our agreement and hide our money on the 
mountain and will leave a chart in reasonable evidence so 
that you will have a more tangible basis to work on than 
in the case of the bachelor's legacy. We wish you success 
in your undertaking but look out for bears and ghosts. 

Signed 

(Insert the names of five prominent local business men.) 

Mrs. Brown. Well, I call that some sarcasm. Com- 
fort loving and timid indeed. They think they can 
frighten us with their talk about bears and ghosts. 

Mrs. Bacon. I never have had a good opinion of those 
five men and now I hate them. 

Mrs. Harvey. Hate is not a good word, my dear 
Mrs. Bacon. 

Mrs. Bacon. Who cares anything about good words ? 
I wouldn't waste good words on them if I had any. 
Detective ability indeed ! We'll show them that we can't 
be frightened by their silly talk about ghosts and skele- 
tons. 

Mrs. Holden. It seems they sent a man, on horse- 
back, to the camp this morning, to search for the plan 
to the cave and he couldn't find anything but tin cans and 
skeletons. 



l6 LISTEN LADIES I 

Mrs. Crane. That doesn't prove anything. Men are 
blind. My husband couldn't find his vest this morning 
and he had it on all the time he was hunting. 

(All laugh.) 

Mrs. Whitney. So they are going to put their five 
thousand dollars in a hidden spot to test out our detective 
ability, are they? That's what they were talking about 
in the store, when they said it would be a good plan to 
let us try out our scheme and get stung. 

Mrs. Brown {sarcastically) . Yes, and I suppose they 
think when we get stung they will be perfectly justified in 
holding us up to masculine ridicule. Humph ! that settles 
it with me. (Rises and hows dramatically to the president.) 
Madam President, I am with you to the bitter end. We 
cannot afford to fail, for our reputation is at stake and if 
I was president of this society I would start the excursion 
to-morrow. 

Mrs. Holden. Yes, of course, but wouldn't it be best 
to send a man on ahead to clean up the camp, and cut 
some wood and 

Mrs. Bacon. Man indeed ! There will be no man in 
this game if I play it to a finish. 

Julia. Perhaps Captain Landon would like to go with 
us, if he is fond of hunting. 

Mrs. Holden. I will ask him, Julia. Perhaps 

Mrs. McLean. Julia dear, we are to have no men. 
It wouldn't be good for your nerves. 

Mrs. Whitney. I agree with Mrs. Bacon, not to have 
any man about the camp, for, if we should find the money, 
he would be sure to claim the credit. 

Mrs. Harvey. Of course he would, for men haven't 
changed since Adam claimed that Eve was made from 
one of his ribs. 

(All laugh, and agree to the statement,) 

Mrs. Holden. Sit down again, ladies, and I will call 
Katie to bring in the refreshments. I came near forget- 
ting all about it. {Goes to door and speaks to Katie; 



LISTEN LADIES ! 1 7 

then comes down c.) Please be seated again and wc will 
decide what day to start on our excursion. 

Mrs. Brown. / am going to start to-morrow and I'm 
going right home now to get ready. If those men are 
going up there to make trouble for us, they will find we 
are just as smart as they are. If anybody wants to go 
along with me, meet me at the four corners to-morrow 
morning at seven o'clock. [Exit. 

Mrs. Bacon. I'm going with her. We'll have every- 
thing all cleaned up and ready for living when the rest of 
you get there, then we can begin our search for the 
money in earnest. (Goes to Mrs. Holden soothingly.) 
Don't be afraid of ghosts and bears, Mrs. Holden. I'll 
take my son's army gun along and nothing shall molest us. 
Good-bye till we meet again. [Exit. 

Mrs. Holden. But who will cut the wood and build 
the fires if we don't have a man with us? 

Mrs. Green. / will. I have to do it at home, for my 
husband always forgets it, and I am well trained in the 
art. I will take an axe and a saw, and I believe I will go 
along with the others. I am getting quite enthused. 

[ Exit. 

Mrs. Crane. I think it will be a great lark and I am 
going right home to pack up the hens and go along with 
them. I hope Molly Moo will lead all right. [Exit. 

Mrs. Whitney. Well, this is like taking some of the 
wind out of your sails, Mrs. Holden, but the ladies mean 
well and know the woods better than you do. Guess that 
hoax about the ghost and skeletons kind of upset you, 
didn't it ? 

Mrs. Holden. Well, I confess I don't enjoy the pros- 
pect, but I got the ladies into this affair and I suppose I 
must see it through, but I think I agree with Julia that 
it would be nice to invite Captain Landon to go with us. 

(Julia and Mrs. McLean are putting on hats.) 

Mrs. McLean. Oh, my dear Mrs. Holden, you 
wouldn't do anything so unwise. It would upset Julia's 
nerves completely. Come, Julia, we must hurry home 
and prepare for this great excursion. [Exeunt. 



l8 LISTEN LADIES ! 

Mrs. Harvey. We must be going too, Mrs. Whitney. 
Don't worry about anything, Mrs. Holden, and meet us at 
the four corners to-morrow morning at seven o'clock. 

[Exeunt. 

Mrs. Holden (reflecting). It sounds all right, but I 
think I will consult with Detective Rogers about the 
advisability of women staying alone in that lonely camp. 
(Goes to telephone, gives nnmher.) Detective Rogers — 
this is Mrs. William Holden. I want to ask you if it 
would be advisable and safe for nine or ten women to 
stay a few days in a camp on Blue Mountain, v/ithout 
male protection. What's that — safety in numbers — well, 
yes — I meant in regard to wild animals and — what's that 
• — bears — (Enter Katie with tray piled high with sand- 
zviches. ) did you say there were bears all along the road ? 
(Drops the receiver.) Oh, oh ! (Wrings hands.) Katie, 
you were right. There are bears and ghosts and skele- 
tons, but we must go 

(Puts handkerchief to eyes and exits crying.) 

Katie (looks surprised). Saints preserve us and it's 
her own doin's. (I^ooks at tray and at empty room.) 
Everybody has flew de coop. Whatever will I do with all 
those refreshments? (Thinks.) I have it! I'll jist take 
them right along to the camp. They'll be good to feed 
the skilitons. [Exit. 



CURTAIN 



ACT II 



SCENE The interior of camp in woods. Living-room 

with table c. ; bed l. front; one or two chairs, and exits 
R and L Windows covered with old nezmpapers. A 
hunter's horn hanging on wall, zvith other camp decora- 
tions. An old pillow and blanket on bed. 

(As the curtain rises a loud pounding is heard outside 
followed by voices.) 

Mrs Bacon. There, I thought I'd get that door open 
if I pounded long enough. (Enters with gun m hand.) 
Lucky I brought that gun along (Mrs. Green enters with 
basklts[axemd saw, etc.), or we never could have 

""^Mrs. Green (looking around). Well here we are at 
last What a dirty old camp this is. Lordie let s get 
some of the windows open quick. (Holds nose.) Seems 
to me I can smell skeletons or somethmg worse. 
(Goes to window.) 
Mrs Bacon (going to window). All the good air is 
sto'pped out with German newspapers; no wonder i 
smells bad in here. Let's tear them off and use them foi 
Mngafire. (Looks around.) Oh ! here is the cook- 
stove out in this Httle rabbit's coop. 1 yA 
Mrs. Green (goes to bed) And this is where the oM 
fellow slept ( Takes up blanket and smells of it. ) ^ooa- 
nZ^^r^L\ Let's get this out of the way as soon as 
possible I am glad we brought along our own blankets. 
(Holds blankets at arm's length. Enter Mrs. Bacon l.) 
Mrs Bacon. Drat that old stove! The fire won't 
burn I'm going out to see if the chimney has caved nr 
rn take the mankets out for an ainng and you can bnn^ 
out the pillow. ^^ 



20 LISTEN LADIES ! 

Mrs. Green {takes up pillow). Another dirty old 
thing. I wonder if he had *' cooties." 

{Holds it by one corner and throws it out the door r.) 

Mrs. Bacon {outside). Hi there! Not quite so hard. 
It may be loaded. 

Mrs. Green {laughing at door). Yes, it probably is 
loaded. 

{Enter Mrs. Bacon r.) 

]\1rs. Bacon. I can hear a cow-bell tinkhng at the 
foot of the hill, and I beheve Mrs. Crane and Mrs. Brown 
are coming with Molly Moo and the hens. 

Mrs. Green. That was a jolly good idea. Mrs. Crane 
has got more good sense than all the rest of us put to- 
gether, even if she has got a husband that forgets. 

Mrs. Bacon. Maybe that's what has developed her 
good sense. 

Mrs. Green. Maybe so ! Maybe so ! 

{Loud tinkling of cow-hell outside. Enter Mrs. 
Brown with large crate of hens, and other bundles. 
Sets crate on floor, and sits on it. Takes off hat, 
and fans herself.) 

Mrs. Brown. Oh, Vm all in ! That hill nearly finished 
me. I think we could earn five thousand dollars easier 
taking in washings. 

{More tinkling heard outside. Enter Mrs. Crane 
with the end of large rope in her hand.) 

Mrs. Crane. Wish I could find something to tie this 
old cow up to while I milk her. {Looks around the 
room, sees large nail, ties the rope.) Did any of you 
women bring along a big pail ? 

(Mrs. Bacon empties things out of pail and gives it to 
Mrs. Crane.) 

Mrs. Brown. I thought you only milked cows at 
night and In the mornin"-. 

Mrs. Crane. Yes, but I thought it would be easier 



LISTEN LADIES ! 21 

for Mollle Moo to carry the milk over the mountain than 
for me to do it, so I didn't milk her this morning-. 

Mrs. Green. Well, you are a far-seeing- woman, Mrs. 
Crane, and no mistake. No man would ever have thought 
so far as that. 

Mrs. Bacon (at zvindow). Here comes Katie, and 
the rest of them must be coming soon. It's almost twelve 
o'clock and we must be preparing a lunch, for they will 
be hungry. We must make it look inviting- for our 
president, as this is her first experience in camp life. 

Mrs. Brown. Our president is no better than the rest 
of us. She got us into this mess and now she can take 
her medicine with the rest of us. 

{Enter Katie, breathless, and loaded with bundles, 
etc.) 

Katie. May the Holy Saints be aisy with the soul 
of — {Insert local name.) for telling me the dumb lie 
that the road to this camp was aisy to find. How did 
you wimmins ever get here so early? {Puts down bun- 
dles and straightens hat with an angry gesture.) There 
are four or five more of them lunatics down at the foot 
of the mountain, waiting for bears to come and eat them 
up. I was so scairt I just runned all the way. 

{Looks around room, disgusted.) 

Mrs. Bacon. Hope you've got something good In 
these baskets, Katie. 

Katie. Sure and Fve got all of them sandwiches I 
made for you yesterday. Nice ones you was, goin' off 
before I brought in the tea, after I left my scrubbing 
to make it. 

Mrs. Brown. We were very foolish, Katie, but never 
mind, they will taste just as good to-day. I feel as 
though I could eat a dozen now. 

{Enter Mrs. Crane with pail of milk.) 

Mrs. Crane. Here is a nice pall of milk for our 
lunch, Katie, and if Mrs. Brown can spare her perch for 
a little while I will take the hens outdoors {Exit Katie 



22 



LISTEN LADIES ! 



tuith pail of milk.) so they will get busy and lay us some 
eggs for breakfast. 

(Mrs. Brown rises from crate and Mrs. Crane takes 
it and exits. ) 

Mrs. Brown. Well, I wish they would all hurry up 
and get here. I am hungry. 

A^RS. Bacon. I suppose Julia is having a spell of 
nerves. It makes me sick the way they pamper her. I 
have a mind to give her a dose of medicine, while v.^e are 
up here, that will cure her forever of such nonsense. 

Mrs. Green. It looks to me as though she was be- 
yond help. I think it is a chronic case. 

(Enter Mrs. Crane mith hands fidl of eggs.) 

Mrs. Crane. There, I found all these in the crate. 
Nobody can say I haven't done my part toward helping 
along this excursion. There's one from Elizabeth, one 
from Jennie Jones, one from Mary Jane, one from Annie 
and Juha, and one from Sarah Leghorn, but Henry Ford 
flew into one of the trees and is crowing as though he 
was worth ten million dollars. {All laugh.) 

Mrs. Brown {at window). Here they come, five of 
them. My, but they look sporty. Mrs. Holden will soon 
put aside that white hat and dress in this dirty camp. 
And look at Julia ! She's got on pink bloomers. Well, 
I never! 

{Enter Mrs. Holden, Mrs. Whitney, Mrs. Harvey, 
Mrs. McLean, and Julia.) 

Mrs. Holden. However did Katie get up that hill 
with such a load ? My, what a climb ! How long have 
you been here, ladies? {Looks around camp.) So this 
is where we are to eat, sleep, and be merry, is it ? Looks 
kind of spooky outside. Guess when it comes night, we 
will wish we had brought a man with us. 

Mrs. Brown. Oh, my goodness no, Mrs. Holden! 
No lords of creation with us this time. The men think 
they run the world because they are stronger than we 



LISTEN LADIES ! 23 

are, but it is the woman's influence every time that makes 
their Hves, for good or bad, and she never gets any 
credit for it. This is the time we will run our own job 
and get all the credit. 

Mrs. Green. And all the money. 

Mrs. Whitney. Have any of you looked for a paper 
or plan, telling how to get to the cave ? 

Mrs. Bacon. No, we have been trying to get this 
place fit to eat and sleep in. It was just awful when we 
first came in, wasn't it, Mrs. Green ? 

Mrs. Green. Yes, we opened the windows, then put 
the blankets out to air, and a dirty old pillow which looked 
as though it was inhabited with something we don't want. 

Mrs. McLean. How you do talk, Mrs. Green. I fear 
you will shock Julia's nerves. Poor dear ! It was such 
a climb over the rocks and fallen trees. Hadn't you bet- 
ter lie down and rest yourself ? 

Julia. I think if I had a pillow I would go out in 
the woods and lie down, it is so stuffy in here. 

Mrs. Holden. A pillow. Who brought a pillow? 
{Goes to door and calls to Katie.) Did you bring some 
pillows with our blankets? 

(Enter Katie with long poker and smooch on face.) 

Katie. What do yez take me for? One of them 
things what travels on deserts with a hump on his back? 
Pillows ! Why don't yez ask me if I brought a looking- 
glass, or a down quilt, or a bath-tub. The Divil take the 
whole lot of yez anyway, for getting me into this place. ^ 

[ Exit. 

Mrs. Whitney. Poor Katie! I think I will go out 
and help her start the fire. Come, Mrs. Harvey, let's be 
helpful. [E^^^i- 

Mrs. Harvey. Just a minute. I want to unpack these 
books. My goodness, I never would have thought of 
bringing all these books if I had known it was such a 
cHmb up that hill. Here's reading for all of us. 

(Takes out books and reads off titles; some can be 
ridicidoiis.) 



24 LISTEN LADIES ! 

Mrs. Green. Sakes alive, Mrs. Harvey ! Guess you 
think we are all literary. I don't mean to spend all my 
time with my nose in a book. 

Mrs. Harvey. You might do worse. (Puts on 
apron. ) There ! Now I am ready for work and we will 
have a fire in a jiffy. [Exit. 

Mrs. Crane. I was looking at that pillow when I 
was milking Molly Moo, and I think it has got some very 
nice feathers in it, and if we had something to make a 
new case of, we could put those feathers into it and the 
pillow would be good as new. 

Mrs. Green. That is a fine idea, Mrs. Crane, and I 
will help you. (Takes off apron.) We will use this 
apron. It is strong and clean. Come, let's be about it. 

[Exeimt. 

Mrs. Holden. And we will attend to the luncheon. 

Mrs. Brown. I am not going to wait for any lunch- 
eon to be served. I'm just going to take a sandwich in 
my hand and be off, hunting for the treasure. It is one 
o'clock and it will soon be too dark to find a cave. [Exit. 

Mrs. Holden. Haven't v/e got to find the directions 
first ? I brought along an old German Dictionary, which 
I used in college, for it is most likely, if we find any 
papers, they will be written in German. 

Mrs. Bacon. I think I will follow Mrs. Brown's ex- 
ample and take a sandwich and be off and not waste any 
time eating. You sit tight on the German Dictionary and 
I will go to the v/oods looking for the money. Wouldn't 
you like to come with me, Julia? 

Julia. Oh, I think not, thank you. I don't Hke the 
woods. I wish Captain Landon had come with us. 

Mrs. Bacon (aside). There she goes again. I'll fix 
her. [Exit. 

Mrs. McLean. You mustn't speak so frankly, Julia. 
I fear it will annoy Mrs. Holden. 

Mrs. Holden. Not at all, Mrs. McLean, I quite agree 
with her, and wish we could have had the Captain with 
us, but he had to go to the city on business. He said 
he would be with us soon as possible after he returned. 
(Shrugs her shoulders.) Ugh! I don't like the idea of 
staying in this place over night. 



LISTEN LADIES ! 2$ 

{Noise is heard in the kitchen like tin cans falling. 
All jump and huddle together. Katie rushes in 
ivith her apron over her face. ) 

Katie. Saints preserve us. That's the ghost coming 
down the chimney. 

{Enter Mrs. Whitney and Mrs. Harvey, laughing, 
zmth box.) 

Mrs. Whitney. A nice little joke played on us, and 
my suspicions rest on those live *' sane business men " 
who were so generous with their money. A dozen tin 
cans were stuffed into the stovepipe to prevent us from 
making a fire. Mrs. Harvey thought there was some ob- 
struction and just lifted the pipe from the stove and out 
fell dU those tin cans and this box, which says, ** open 
with care." 

Katie. Don't open it ! {Screaming and running out. ) 
Don't open it ! It's the skeleton. [Exit. 

Mrs. Holden {looks at writing). Where have I seen 
that writing before? I believe it is the same as that 
letter sent to us yesterday. {Takes a note out of her 
bag and compares writing.) You are right, Mrs. Whit- 
ney. Those terrible men are at the bottom of all our 
trouble and it is contemptible. Now my fighting blood 
is up and I am more determined than ever to win. Give 
me the box. I am not afraid to open it. We will see 
what Uttle joke they have for us. {Opens the box and 
takes out a paper and reads.) " Dear Ladies: We con- 
gratulate you if one of your number has shown detective 
ability enough to get possession of this box. We are pre- 
suming, of course, that you have, long ago, given up 
the quest and started for home, like good sensible ladies ; 
but in case you should still wish to continue the search 
for gold, we are enclosing a diagram which, if properly 
deciphered, will lead you to the spot where we have 
placed our personal checks for five thousand dollars, ac- 
cording to agreement. Of course you understand the 
conditions are that you must find the money which be- 
longed to the German bachelor before you can have 



26 LISTEN LADIES ! 

legal possession of ours, even if you should find it. We 
wish you all success in your undertaking." Well, the 
nerve of those men. {Turns over the paper and sees 
plan.) What does all this mean? (Reads.) *' Out in 
the open — look north — one step east — five steps south — 
six yards west — two rods north — left arm extended — fall 
on knees — dig." 

Mrs. Whitney. Well, I guess your German Dic- 
tionary won't help you much to decipher that enigma. 

Mrs. Harvey (takes the paper). Well, I call that 
nothing short of an insult. They don't want us to find 
the money. 

Mrs. McLean. Do you suppose they really have 
buried the money out in the woods? 

Mrs. Holden. I do not know, but I intend to find 
out. I told you my fighting blood was up and all the 
savagery of the cave man possesses me at this moment. 
They probably have put something somewhere, and I am 
going to find it. Come on, ladies. Wish I had a good 
yardstick. 

Mrs. Whitney. I have a tape measure in my bag. 

(Gets measure.) 

Mrs. McLean. A rather slender looking instrument 
for outdoor surveying. 

Mrs. Holden. Slender or not, it has inches and feet 
on it and I am going to carry out their directions to the 
Hmit, 

Mrs. Whitney. I am with you. 

Mrs. Harvey. So am L You take the tape measure, 
Mrs. Holden the paper, and I will bring the stove-shovel. 

Mrs. McLean. I should like to go with you, but dear 
Julia can't stay alone. 

Julia. Oh, don't mind me. I am going out for a 
walk. 

Mrs. Holden (takes a book from her bag). Here is 
something to read, Julia. We won't be gone long, and 
Katie is in the kitchen. You can't be lonely. 

Mrs, McLean. Here is your sweater, and don't go far 
into the woods alone ; you might get lost. 



LISTEN LADIES ! 2/ 

(Exeunt Mrs. Holden, Mrs. Whitney, Mrs. Harvey 
and Mrs. McLeaj^.) 

Julia (takes tip book). Emancipation of women by 
the vote. 

(Enter Katie with a letter.) 

Katie. Whist ! Here is a letter for yez from a f oine 
looking man all drest up like a soldier and said his name 
was Captain Landon. 

Julia. Captain Landon! (Puts her hand on her 
heart.) At last. (Takes the letter.) Where was he, 
Katie, when he gave this letter to you ? 

Katie. Well, after I got that bothering old fire 
started, I was that doity I went outside to wash me face, 
and to blow some of the soot out of me lungs, when along 
comes a tap on me arm, and I was that scairt I started 
to run. But a firm hand held me, and a voice in my ear 
said, *' Don't be afraid of me, Katie, I am Captain Lan- 
don." Did you ever hear the likes of him, calling me 
Katie? I was just going to tell him I didn't allow no 
man but Billy McCloud to call me that, when I looked 
up and he was laughing, just beautiful, and asked me if 
I would take a letter to Miss Julia King, and that is the 
letter. Begorry, he is a looker all right. Ain't you go- 
ing to read your letter? 

Julia (holds letter unopened). I wish sister was 
here. I wonder what she would say. 

Katie (groans aside). Ah, go 'long wid yez. Haven't 
you got feet to walk on without borrowing somebody 
else's ? 

Julia. I believe I will read it. It can't do any harm. 
(Reads letter aloud.) '* My dearest Julia: You will ex- 
cuse me for addressing you with seeming familiarity, but 
I feel as though I had always known you and loved you. 
I have tried many times to speak to you and declare my 
adoration, but your sister is always near you, like a 
shadow in the night." 

Katie (interrupting). That's right, she Is. I am 
glad she is gone to the woods this time. 

Julia (resumes) . " So I have followed you into these 



28 LISTEN LADIES ! 

alluring woods, hoping to see you and tell you that I love 
you. I feel as though I would sacrifice the happiness 
of a dozen years for a single kiss from your sweet lips. 
Won't you meet me, darling, at the foot of the mountain, 
where we can be alone and look into each other's eyes 
and — and read the meaning of love? Come, I am wait- 
ing for you. Your own Captain Landon." 

Katie (aside). Some letter. 

Julia (reflecting). It doesn't sound much as Cap- 
tain Landon looks. 

Katie. Never you mind how he looks. Miss Julia. 
Looks is decavin', especially men's looks. 

Julia. But I thought getting the vote was going to 
emancipate women from all this kind of love-making. 

Katie (aside). Oh, the poor darhng. (To Julia.) 
Who told you such dumb lies ? 

Julia (holds up hook). It is right here in this book. 
(Reads.) "At last w^omen have the ballot, which will 
emancipate them from men's " 

Katie (takes book azvay gently). Thim kind of books 
is writ by old duffers who are eighty or more, and can't 
get a Hving no other way. They ain't meant for young 
folks like yous to read. (Takes hold of her arm.) 
Come, the Captain is waiting for you. 

Julia. No, Katie, I am afraid. I won't know what 
to say to him. 

Katie. Say to him? Trust me, he will do all the 
saying. (Goes up to Julia and speaks very confiden- 
tially.) Say, here is a secret for you. The first time 
Billy McCloud kist me, I was that shaky he had to put 
his arm around me to keep me from falling, and I said, 
" Oh, Billy, I want you to, and I don't want you to," and 
then he jest up and kist me and — oh, geest 

Julia (rises). I think I will go, and if sister returns 
before I do, you can tell her I am out for a walk. [Exit. 

Katie. I'll tell her. (Takes apron and wipes face, 
then takes money from pocket and looks at the hill.) 
Guess I earned my fiver that time. 

(Enter Mrs. Crane and Mrs. Green with pillow in 
one hand and roll of paper in other.) 



LISTEN LADIES I 29 

Mrs. Green (excitedly). We've found a paper all 
rolled up in the pillow which looks like the plan of the 
cave. Oh, where is Mrs. Holden? Find her quick and 
tell her we need the German Dictionary. 

{Hunts around room.) 

Katie. They've gone to the woods, mum. 

Mrs. Crane. Run after them, Katie, and tell them to 
come quick or, better still, take this horn {Takes horn 
from wall and gives it to Katie.) and blow it as if the 
house was on fire. [Exit Katie, blowing horn. 

{Enter Mrs. Brown, looking tired and discouraged.) 

Mrs. Brown. I've searched the woods everywhere 
and I beUeve the whole story is a fabrication. I fear we 
are doomed to disappointment. 

Mrs. Green. Never give up the ship, Mrs. Brown. 
If you will help me find that German Dictionary we can 
soon tell you the direction to the cave. 

Mrs. Brown. Honest to goodness, girls, are you tell- 
ing me the truth ? 

Mrs. Crane {holds up the paper). Come and look 
for yourself. 

Mrs. Brown {takes the paper). Why, here is a draw- 
ing of a brook, and a tree, and a 

Mrs. Green. Oh, here is the dictionary. 

Mrs. Brown. Now see if you can find what Der 
Strom is. 

Mrs. Green {looks in the dictionary). Der Strom 
means a stream. 

Mrs. Crane. I will write it down. 

{Writes on paper.) 

^ Mrs. Brown. Now find Die Eiche. {Laughs.) I 
like good old United States best. 

Mrs. Crane. Me too. No wonder the old fellow 
died. 

Mrs. Green. Die Eiche means the oak. 

Mrs. Brown {jumps up, speaks excitedly). I saw the 



30 LISTEN LADIES I 

Stream and the big oak tree this afternoon ; hurry, hurry, 
let's get the rest. Find Der Tabak. 

Mrs. Green. "Tabak" — {Following along with fin- 
ger.) tobacco. 

Mrs. Crane. Tobacco, that can't be right ! 

Mrs. Brown. Maybe it means the money is in a to- 
bacco box. 

Mrs. Green. Most Hkely that is it, for he would be 
sure to have a tobacco box on hand. 

Mrs. Brown. Now find Der Stein. Oh, I am so 
excited. 

Mrs. Green. Der Stein means a stone. 

Mrs. Brown. Now what have we got, Mrs. Crane ? 

Mrs. Crane {reads). The stream — oak — tobacco — 
stone. Not much sense, I should say. 

Mrs. Brown. Now one more word. Aufheben. I 
am glad that is the last. 

Mrs. Green. Aufheben, to Hft. 

Mrs. Brown. I have it. We are to lift the stone by 
the oak on the stream, and there is the cave. Come 
quick, it's getting dark. 

{Exeunt Mrs. Brown, Mrs. Crane and Mrs. Green.) 

{Enter Katie on tiptoes. She goes to window.) 

Katie. Whist, he's got his arm around her. Faith 
and they are coming in here. {Tiptoes hack to 'Si. Exit.) 

{Enter Mrs. Bacon, zv earing a long army coat and 
hat, and made up as Captain Landon, and Julia.) 

Mrs. Bacon. I am so glad we are alone, dear Julia. 
{Goes to her and puts arm about her.) Perhaps you will 
give me one more kiss before we part. {Kisses her.) 
How many does that make ? 

Julia. About twenty-five, I think. When shall we 
announce our engagement, Captain dear? 

Mrs. Bacon. Just as soon as your sister comes. 
(Voices heard outside.) Oh, here they are now. 

(Enter Mrs. Holden, Mrs. Whitney, Mrs. Harvey 
and Mrs. McLean.) 



LISTEN LADIES ! oj 

Mrs. Holden (holds a box high in air). Here we are 
with the last part of our legacy first. It was merely an 
accident that I tumbled onto the spot where it was buried. 
I had given up in despair and was looking about for a 
little knoll to rest on, when I saw fresh earth scattered 
about. I thought at first some wild animal might be 
around me, and I was about ready to run away when I 
saw this. (Produces a pipe.) 

Mrs. Harvey ") 

Mrs. McLean [■ (together). A man's pipe ! 

Mrs. Whitney ) 

Mrs. Holden. Yes, and then I gradually tumbled to 
the fact that I was almost sitting on the money. I didn't 
need a shovel to uncover it. Here it is, all in this little 
box. Just take a look. Five bona fide checks. But, 
ladies, we've got to find the other first — (Sees Mrs. 
Bacon and Julia. ) Captain Landon ! What a surprise. 

(Rushes to him to grasp his hand.) 

Julia (rushes to Mrs. McLean). Oh, sister Marion, 
I am engaged to 

Mrs. Holden. What does this all mean? (Mrs. 
Bacon takes off hat and hair falls dozvn.) Mrs. Bacon 
disguised as Captain Landon ! 

Mrs. Bacon (laughs). I only played a little joke on 
JuUa, to cure her of " nerves." I dressed up as Captain 
Landon and lured her into the woods and made love to 
her. She's easy. Too easy, Mrs. McLean, in spite of 
all your guardianship. Forgive me, Julia. 

Julia. Oh, oh, don't you ever mention love to me 
again. Where is that Katie ? I'll bang her head for her. 

(Rushes to kitchen.) 

Mrs. McLean. Poor Julia ! I must find her. It may 
affect her mind. 

Mrs. Holden. Well, you certainly look the part. 
Where are the rest of the ladies? We must find them 
and tell them the good news. (Sees open dictionary and 
paper.) What's this? (Looks at paper.) Why, I be- 
lieve they have found some clue to the cave. (Goes to 



32 LISTEN LADIES I 

door and calls.) Katie ! Katie ! Where are the rest of 
the ladies ? 

{Enter Y^TiE..) 

Katie. Don't know, mum. The last I saw of them 

they were taking to the woods, mum. 

Mrs. Whitney. Perhaps they saw a bear. 

Mrs. Harvey. Or a man. 

Katie {to Mrs. Holden). Your friend. Captain 
Landon, has been here this afternoon. Geest, he's a 
looker! {Holds up five-dollar hill.) He gave me this. 

Mrs. Holden. So Mrs. Bacon fooled you too. Is 
that the same Captain Landon who gave you the money? 

{Points to Mrs. Bacon.) 

Katie {turning). Saints preserve us! Did yez ever 
see the loiks of that, and she a foine lady, too. 

Mrs. Bacon {laughing). I suppose if your friend 
Billy should see me now he would arrest me, but you 
mustn't tell him, Katie, for you know I gave you some 
hush money. 

Katie. Hush money, was it? I thought yez paid a 
big price for something. 

Mrs. Bacon {pleadingly). Promise me you won't tell, 
Katie. I wouldn't like the men to hear about it, espe- 
cially the Captain. 

Katie. I promise. I belave I Hke the looks of yez 
better than the real one. [Exit. 

{Noise is heard outside. Cow-hell ringing, and gen- 
eral pandemonium. Enter Mrs. Brown, Mrs. 
Green and Mrs. Crane, very much excited.) 

Mrs. Brown {with tohacco hox in hand). WeVe got 
it, ladies. Here is the German bachelor's legacy. 

Mrs. Green. It's all there, neatly packed away in 
good United States one hundred dollar bills. 

Mrs. Crane. We felt sorry for the old fellow, be- 
cause he had to die, and couldn't come back for it him- 
self. 

Mrs. Holden. All discovered on the first day of our 



LISTEN LADIES ! 33 

excursion. Well, I guess this is the time we won't be 
held up to masculine ridicule. Ladies, all listen ; we also 
have good news for you; we have found the other five 
thousand dollars. 

Mrs. Brown {sinks into chair). Oh, fan me, fan me ! 
I am so excited. 

Mrs. Whitney. What, is this a moving picture re- 
hearsal ? 

Mrs. Harvey. I thought it would be dull up here in 
the woods. 

(Enter Julia and Mrs. McLean.) 

Mrs. McLean. Julia has forgiven you, Mrs. Bacon. 

Julia. Yes, I think I understand now that love, at its 
best, is only a sham. I thank you, Mrs. Bacon, for en- 
Hghtening me. I think I will devote the rest of my days 
to something more useful than love-making. 

Mrs. Bacon. That's the right spirit, Julia. It was 
only meant for a joke, and I knew you would be a good 
sport. 

Mrs. McLean. Have you told them of our discovery ? 

Mrs. Holden. Yes, and what surprise do you think 
they had for me. They have found the bachelor's cave, 
which was a hole in the ground, under a rock, and have 
brought forth his legacy, and now we are in legal posses- 
sion of ten thousand dollars. Think what a victory it is 
for us all. 

Mrs. Green. I think that news will make some of 
those " sane business men " of Greenville squeal a httle 
mite. , 

Mrs. Brown. I hope it will. Maybe they wont be 
quite so fresh when they address us again. 

Mrs. Bacon (whirls around and throws hat in air). 
Hurrah for the women ! Oh, it's great to be a woman. 
I wouldn't be a man for anything in the world. We are 
showing them every day that we can do things better 
than they can. 

Julia. Even to love-making. 

Mrs. McLean. You must forgive and forget, Juha. 

Mrs. Holden. It's getting awfully dark outside, and 



34 



LISTEN LADIES f 



I don't think it's safe for us to stay in this camp alone 
with all this money. 

Mrs. Green. I can put some of it in my stocking. 

Mrs. Crane. We might hide it in the stove. 

Mrs. Bacon. Some one might get up early in the 
morning and burn it up. 

Mrs. Whitney. I don't like the idea of sleeping in 
this dirty old camp anyway. Let's go home. 

All (exclaim). To-night? 

Mrs. Holden. Why not ? There will be good moon- 
light and we could find our way nicely after we were 
out of the woods. 

Mrs. McLean. Remember, there are bears and Julia 
might have a spell of nerves. 

Julia. Excuse me, dear sister, but I will fight my own 
battles hereafter. Mrs. Bacon has given me a new 
vision. I won't be trifled with again. If the rest of the 
ladies are ready to go home, I am, bears or no bears. 

Mrs. Brown (rises). I am ready to go. (Looks at 
watch.) Five o'clock; just time to get out of the woods 
before dark. I have heard that bears always prowl 
around old camps at night, and the old bachelor's ghost 
might come for his money. 

(All begin packing up their belongings. Mrs. Holden 
goes to the door and calls to Katie. Enter Katie.) 

Katie. What will you have, mum? 

Mrs. Holden. We have decided to go home to-night, 
Katie. Will you help some of the ladies and get our 
things ready as soon as possible? We've found all the 
money and there is nothing to stay for. 

Katie. Yez womens are sure some winners! Guess 
yez husbands will hold their tongues to yez after this. 

(Goes to packing hurriedly.) 

Mrs. Holden. How shall we tell them the news? 
They won't believe it until they see the money. 

Mrs. Whitney. You sit down and write them a let- 
ter while we do the packing. 

Mrs. Brown. Make it just as sarcastic as you can. 



LISTEN LADIES ! 



35 



Give them a dose of their own medicine, with some ginger 
in it. 

Mrs. McLean. How are we going to get all this 
money home? We may be held up by robbers. 

Mrs. Bacon. Remember, I have a gun. 

Mrs. Crane. I've got all I can do to get Molly Moo 
and the hens ready. I must go out and look for Henry 
Ford. I bet he is up in the trees now. 

Mrs. Holden. How is this for a letter? (Reads.) 
" Honorable Gentlemen : We beg to inform you that we 
have returned from our excursion into the wilderness, 
and that our detective ability, which you appeared to 
doubt, was sufficient to discover both sums of money. 
Should you wish to examine the bachelor's legacy, or, 
perhaps, take a farewell look at your own checks, we ask 
you to meet us at the cashier's window of the Guilford 
Trust Company at 9 a m. Thursday morning. H you 
should care to have further proof of our ability as de- 
tectives, we ask you to give us something harder next 
time. Thanking you for your generous contribution to 
the Library Fund, we are very respectfully yours, Mrs. 
W. B. Holden, President." 

All (exclaim). Good ! good ! 

Mrs. Brown. Now let's be off as soon as possible. 

(All go out zvith baskets, etc. Mrs. Bacon and Julia 
last. ) 

Mrs. Bacon (turning to Julia, at door). Won't you 
give me that twenty-seventh kiss, Julia? 

Julia. No, for I may need it for the real Captain 
Landon. [Exeunt Mrs. Bacon and Julia. 



CURTAIN 



A COUPLE OF MILLION 

An American Comedy in Four Acts 
By Walter Ben Hare 

Author of " Professor Pcpp," " Much Ado About Betty,*^ 
" The Hoodoo," " The Dutch Detective," etc. 

Six males, five females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two iuterion 
and an exterior. Plays a full evening. Royalty, ten dollars (^lo.oo) foi 
each performance. A more ambitious play by this popular author in thv 
same successful vein as his previous ofterings. Bemis Bennington io left 
two million dollars by his uncle on condition that he shall live for one 
year in a town of less than five thousand inhabitants and during that 
period marry and earn without other assistance than his own industry and 
ability the sum of five thousand dollars. Failing to accomplish this the 
money goes to one Professor Noah Jabl). This is done despite the energetic 
opposition of Jabb, who puts up a very interesting fight. A capital plaji 
that can be strongly recommended. Plenty of good comedy and a great 
variety of good parts, full of opportunity. 

Price, ^^ cents 

CHARACTERS 

Bemis Bennington. ' Fay Fairbanks. 

Hon. Jeremy Wise. Mrs. Clarice CouRTENi./, 

James Patrick Burns, *' Stubby.'' Genevieve McGully. 

Professor Noah Jabb. Sammie Bell Porteil 

Beverly Loman. Pink. 

Squire Piper. 

Several Hill- Billies, 

SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — The law office of Hon. Jeremy Wise, New York Cky. 
A morning in July. 

Act n. — The exterior of the court-house, Opaloopa, Alabama. 
An afternoon in October. 

Act hi.— Same as Act \\. The next afternoon. 

Act IV. — Mrs. Courtenay's sitting-room, Opaloopa, Alabama 
k night in April. 



ISOSCELES 

A Play in One Act 
By Walter Ben Hare 
Two male, one female characters. Costumes, modern ; s^ene, an in 
terior. Plays twenty minutes. Royalty ^2.50 for each performance. An 
admirable little travesty of the conventional emotional recipe calling for 
husband, wife and lover. Played in the proper spirit of burlesque it is 
howlingly funny. Strongly recommended for the semi-professional uses 
of schools of acting. A capital bit for a benefit or exhibition programme;, 
offering a decided novelty. 



RED ACRE FARM 

A Rural Comedy Drama in Three Acts by Gordan V, May ;s!»€veti 
males, five females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, one intefioi, one exte- 
rior. Plays two hours. An easy and entertaining play with a. weli-bal. 
?.nced cast of characters. The story is strong and sympathetic and the 
comedy element varied and amusing. Barnaby Strutt is a great part for 
\ good comedian ; " Junior " a close second. Strongly recommended, 

THE COUNTRY MINISTER 

A Comedy Drama in Five Acts by Arthur Lewis Tubbs. Eight males^ 
five females. Costumes, modern ; scenery not difficult. Plays a full even- 
ing. A very sympathetic piece, of powerful dramatic interest ; strong and 
varied comedy relieves the serious plot. Ralph Underwood, the minister 
is a great part, and Roxy a strong soubrette ; all parts are good and fub' 
of opportunity. Clean, bright and strongly recommended. 
Price, j^ cents 

THE COLONEL^S MAID 

A Comedy in Three Acts by C. Leona Dalrymple. Six males, thuee 
females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, tvvc interiors. Plays a full even- 
ing. An exceptionally bright and amusing comedy, full of action ; all the 
parts good. Capital Chinese low comedy part ; two first-class old men. 
This is a very exceptional piece and can be strongly recommended. 
Pt ice, j^ ceuti 

MOSE 

A Comedy in Three Acts by C. W. Miles, Eleven males, ten females. 
Scenery, two interiors ; costumes, modern. Plays an hour and a half. A 
lively college farce, full of the true college spirit. Its cast is large, but 
many of the parts are small and incidental. Introduces a good deal of 
singing, which will serve to lengthen the performance. Recommended 
highly for co educational colleges. Price, 25 cents 

OUR WIVES 

A Farce in Three Acts by Anthony E. Wills. Seven males, four fe- 
males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors. Plays two hoiiis and 
a half. A bustling, up-to-date farce, full of movement and action ; all 
the parts good and effective; easy to produce; just the thing for an ex- 
perienced amateur club and hard to spoil, even in the hands of less 
practical players. Free for amateur perlormance. Price, ^^ cents 

1 HE SISTERFIOOD OF BRIDGET 

A Farce in Three Acts by Robert El win Ford. Seven males, six fe- 
males, ('ostumes, modern ; scenery, easy interiors. Plays two hours. 
An easy, effective and very h amorous piece turning upon the always in- 
teresting servant girl question. A very unusual number of comedy parts | 
^ill the parts gooJ, Easy to get up and well recommended. Price, ^^cenit 



KITTY'S SERVICE FLAG 

A Comedy in Two Acts 
: By Gladys Ruth Bridgham 

Eleven female characters. Costumes, modern ; scenery, an interior. 
Plays an hour and a quarter. Hitty, a patriotic spinster, quite alone in 
the world, nevertheless hangs up a service flag in her window witliout 
any right to do so, and opens a Tea Room lor the benetit of the Red 
Cross. She gives shelter to Stella llassy under circumstances that close 
other doors against iier, and oilers refuge to Marjorie Winslovv and her 
little daughter, whose father in France finally gives her the right to the 
flag. A strong dramatic presentation of a lovable character and an idea] 
patriotism. Strongly recommended, especially for v;^om<in's ciubSo 
Br ice, 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 
Mehitable JUDSON, aged 70. 
LuELLA Perkins, aged 40. 
Stasia Brown, aged 40. 
Mildred Emerson, aged 16, 
Marjorie VVinslow, aged 2^, 
Barbara Winslow, Aer daughter, aged 6. 
Stella Hassy, aged 25, but claims to be youngsr. 
Mrs. Irving VVinslow, aged 4^. 
Marion VVinslow, her daughter, aged 20. 
Mrs. Esterbrook, aged 45, 
Mrs. Cobb, anywhere frojft 40 to 60. 

THE KNITTING CLUB MEETS 

A Comedy in One Act 

By Helen Sherman Griffith 

Nine female characters. Costumes, modern; scenery, '..a i.iter.ot 

Plays half an hour. Eleanor will not forego luxuries nor in other way.-- 

"do her bit," puttnig herself before her country; but when her old 

enemy, Jane Rivers, comes to the Knitting Club straight from France to 

tell the story of her experiences, she is moved to forget her quarrel and 

leads them all in her sacrifices to the cause. An admirably stimulatnig 

piece, ending with a " melting pot " to which the audience may also bt 

asked to contributec Urged as a decided novelty in patriotic plays. 

Brice, 2^ cents 

GETTING THE RANGE 

A Comedy in One Act 
By Helen Sherman Griffith 
Eight female characters. Costumes, modern; scenery, an exterior. 
Well suited for out-of-door performances. Plays an hour and a quarter. 
Information of value to the enemy somehow leaks out from a fronti^- 
town and the leak cannot be found or stopped. But Captain Brooke, ix 
the Secret Service, finally locates the offender amid a maze cf false clues, 
in the person of a washerwoman who hangs out her clothes day after day in 
ways and places to give the desired information. A capital play, w-r>l 
tecommended. Brice, 2^ cents 



PROFESSOR PEPP 

A Farcical Comedy with a College Flavo? ir. Three Acts 

By Walter Ben Hare 
Nine males, seven females. Costumes, modern; scene, an easy ex. 
terior, the same for all three acts. Pl?,ys two hours and twenty minutes. 
Professor Pepp, on a vacation trip to Russia, is initiated by Boris Ardoff, 
a Russian humorist and former pupil 'if the Professor's, into a Nihilist So- 
ciety " The Redeemers," and is so unlucky as to draw the red ball which 
obliges him to murder the Prin'^^ss Katchakoffsky. In terror he at 
once flies from Russia, but Boris, ^) prolong the joke, writ2S ahead of him 
to a friend on the faculty, telling the story and reveaUng the password — 
«' Bumski." With this weapon everybody in turn has his own way with 
the terrified Professor, who se-^^s a Nihilist in every bush. A side-splitter 
with more good parts than a^y piece of its kind for years. Strongly rec- 
ommended for school or «»«>Ikge performance. Frice,^s cents 

CHARACTERS 
Professor Peterkik Pepp, a nervous wreck. 
Mr. C. B. Buttonp'JSTER, a giddy butterfly of forty-eight. 
Howard Green, Hs son, who had the court change his name* 
Sim Batty, the police force of a college town. 
Peddler BENS<?>f, working his way through schooL 
Noisy Flemin'"^, yz^5/ out of high school. 
Pink Hatch e*^, an athletic sophomore. 
Buster Brov^n, a vociferous junior. 
Betty Gappner, the professor s ward. 

Aunt M werva Boulder, his housekeeper, from Skowhegan, Main^ 
Petunia Muggins, the hired girl. 
Olga ^xcpski, the new teacher of folk-dancing. 
Kitty Clover, a collector of souvenirs. 
Vivj/N Drew, a college belle. 
1.RFNE Van Hilt, a social leader. 
^AK-Oline Kay, the happy little freshman. 

Students, Co-eds^ etc. 

SYNOPSIS 
Act I. Professor Pepp's residence on the college campus> 
Act n. Same scene. Surrounded by the nihilists. 
Act IU. Same scene. A double wedding. 

NOT ON THE PROGRAMME 

A Comedy in One Act 
By Gladys Ruth Bridgham 
Three males, three females. Costumes, modern; scenery, a single vx 
terior. Plays forty minutes. Mrs, "Whitney, rehearsing for amateur the- 
atricals with Vincent Fielding, a dramatic coach, in her own home, i» 
misunderstood by Ophelia Johnson (colored), her maid, who summons the 
police to straighten out what seems to her a very criminal state of things, 
'Rastus Brown, a plumber and admirer of Ophelia, helps Officer Hogan to 
muddle matters into a very laughable state ot confusion. Easy ani 
ftrongly recommendedo Frice^ 2Scenti 



AMATEURS' SUPPLIES L 

S PREPARED BURNT CORK-Will not dry out. Always in [ 

. conchtion for immediate use. Easily removed. Enough f 

for four people. Per box (about 2 02.) ! .$ .^ ► 

One-half lb., $1.00; per tb I ^ [ 

SPIRIT GUM— For sticking on whiskers* "etc! " EasVly 

rr^T^i^^Tf J A^> J^ £°^°^ ^""^^ ^^ Co^^ Cream. Per bottle. .35 
L.UivD CREAM— For removmg grease paints, spirit gum. 
etc. In tubes ^ 

r?-?8^T^.UXXS?-J?°^ '^"^^ p"^p°s^ ^« coid cr^am;;:;;: 50 

CEOWN WHITE-For Pantomimes, Clowns, Statuary, etc 

Per box -^ 

CARMINE EINER-Per stick V.'.'/.W 1o 

BEUE— For the eyes. Per stick to 

EYE BROW PENCIES-Black, Brown. In nickd-pUied 

metal tubes. Each ^e 

GRENADINE OR LIP ROUGE '..!*.'/.! « 

THEATRICAL BLENDING POWDER-Thoroughly' hides 
oily appearance of grease paints. Not to be confused 
with street powder. No. i, White; No. 2, Flesh; No. 3, 
Brunette; No. 4, Rose Tint for juvenile heroes; No. 7, 
Healthy Sunburn; No. 10, Sallow for both young and 
old age; No. 11, all ruddy exposed characters; No. 17, 

American Indian, East Indian, Othello aq 

ROUGE DE THEATRE— No. 18, Medium shade for juve- 
nile and fair complexion; No. 36, Brunette for decided 
brunette types; No. 24, Deep Rose for darker hues. 

Per box -,» 

HAIR POWDER— White only. To gray or * whiten * the 

hair or beard ^e 

POWDER PUFFS-For applying blending powder. . '. *. *. ! ! ! [S 

HARE'S FEET— For blending make-up .30 

STOMPS — Leather, for lining face for wrinkles, etc .30 

NOSE PUTTY— For building up nose or chin ^vi 

EMAIL NOIR OR BLACK WAX— Black, for stopping out 

teeth oe 

WATER COSMETIQUE or MASCARO- White, Black. 
Dark Brown, Light Brown, Blonde, Red, for coloring 
the beard, eyebrows or hair at temples to match wig. 

Removed with soap and water. Each -« 

MAKE-UP PENCILS— Light Flesh, Dark Flesh, Brown, 
Black, White, Gray, Carmine, Pink and Crimson. Set 

in a box joe 

LINING PENCILS— Black, Brown. Crimson, Gray "and 

White. Each .20 

LADIES' BEAUTY BOX— For stage or toilet use." Conl 
tains Flesh Color Face Powder, Theatrical Cold Cream, 
Theatre Rouge, Eyebrow Pencil, Powder Puff, Hare's 

Foot, Flesh Color Exora Cream and Lip Rouge I.3S 

Always send your orders to 

WALTER R BAKER CO-, Boston, Mass, 



X 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



015 988 864 2 ^ 

AMATEURS* SUFi'j.mo 

MAKE-UP BOX— For either Gentleman or I^ady, a handsome 
japanned tin case, with lock and key, and containing the 
following articles: A set of Grease Paints (nine colors), 
Blending Powder (two colors), Rouge de Theatre, Eyebrow 
Pencil, Gren. me or Lip Rouge, Blue for the Eyes, Nose 
Putty, Email Noir or Black Wax, Mascaro or Water Cos- 
metique and Brush, Spirit Gum and Brush, Powder Puff, 
Cocoa Butter, Burnt Cork, Two Artist's Stomps, Hare's 
Foot, Mirror, Scissors and Five Colors of Crepe Hair. All 
these articles are of the best quality. The actual listed value 
of the articles enumerated, all of which are included with 
our complete Make-Up Box, would be over $7.00; so that 
the handsome carrying case is included at no additional cost 
when you buy this outfit. By express, shipping charges not 
paid $7.00 



GREASE PAINTS 

No. No. 

1. y«7 Pale Flesh Color. 12. Olive, Healthy. 

2. Light Flesh, Deeper Tint la Olive, Lighter Shade. 
a Natural Flesh Color for Juvenile Heroes. 14. Gyps/ Flesh Color. 

4. Rose Tint Color for Juvenile Heroes. 15. Othello. 

5. Deeper Shade Color for Juvenile Heroes.16. Chinese. 

6. Healthy Sunburnt for Juvenile Heroes. 17. Indian. 

7. Healthy '>unbum':. Deeper Shade. IS. ^st Indian. 

8. Sallow, :'. Younc: Men. 19. Japanese. 

9. Healthy Color, f^r Middle Age. 20. Light Negro. 

10. Sallow, for Olc! Age. 2L Bkck. 

11, Rud^, for Old Age. 22. White. 

(Done up in sticks of 4 inches in length at 30c each.) 

MISCELLANEOUS SUPPLIES 
FOR YOUR MINSTREL SHOW 

Minstrel Chorus Wigs (special price by the dozen), each $1.25 

End Men's Fancy Wig 2,25 

Fright Wig (Mechanical) 3.00 

"Uncle Tom" Wig. 2.25 

" Topsy" Wig 2.25 

Sonnetts or Clappers (per pair) 25 

Paper Collars (end men) 15 

Dress Shirt Fronts 35 

Stage Jewelry : Shirt Stud 50 

Large Diamond Ring 75 

Stage Money : 20 sheets 10 

100 sheets 40 



Always send your orders to 

WALTER H. BAKER CO*, Boston, Mass* 



i 



181435 



